rrrrrrrrighto.

ended one assignment today, another one starting next week. and have to go for camp either today or tomorrow.

tirrred out. but it was fun! great! cool!

goodbye Philadelphia Orchestra, hello Les Sages Fous.

will update more on the time i had after i get enough sleep.

and what the hell? hello guys, i am NOT desperate okayyyy. especially those on my msn contact list who saw my nick. it is NOT a call for cute and cuddly guys pls. its a line from the movie madagascar said by the penguine head. tsk. all you ignorant people.

and here's an album! quite some time ago. junyu's birthday party. for all the ym people reading this.


tataaaaaa.

*okaaaaay ms ginananaaa goh, take a deep breath and repeat after me:

i will not feel inferior.

i will not feel put down by someone i don't even know.

i will not think that "what the hell? i'm so bloody fat and she's so bloody slim! hate her hate her hate her!"

i will not, for even ONE moment, think that she is prettier than me because of the obvious reason that i have a smaller nose.

i will not think that she's way cuter just because she's way younger than me.

in fact, i will think that she's just an immature kiddo while i, a classy mature adult.

IN FACT, i should dispel ALL thoughts of her away from my mind now.


OFF YOU GO! and DON'T EVER COME BACK!


*joke entry, no offence pls.

busy busy week i had, busy busy week ahead.

hmmmmmm. i realised i have a hell lot of photos not uploaded yet.. haha. will do it soon. when i'm not so busy.

right now i just want to rant about some (rude) indians.

now, i'm not racist or anything, i just don't like bangladeshis. okay no link gina.

seriously, i'm fine with most indians. i even have connections with the *BPA!

i was standing at the traffic light waiting for the green man to appear, and out of nowhere this indian uncle appeared in front of me and said something that sounded like this to me.

"id morl?"

i was like, what the hell? and being the polite person, i smiled and said "sorry"?

this time he repeated himself more clearly. he meant "IT mall" and pointed to the funan it mall right opposite us.

being polite once again, i smiled and said "yup".



at this moment, what most people would expect is that he'll smile and say thank you or the like right?






he simply turned away from me and back to his wife and son, and they started chattering in heavily-accented tamil. i think they are from india.



hello! say a thankyou will die IS IT. or is it you have 3years worth of kangkong stuck on your front teeth that's why you can't smile. and its not like the green man was on already. we were still waiting for the traffic to stop.

if i wasn't so tired, i would have whacked him with the heavy arts fest paper bag i'm holding already.

freaking rude! i hope the sales people at funan cheat you of your money of whatever you're buying.

*Black People's Association



anyway on to happier stuff, yesterday was the barbarians 5th anniversary! had a whale of a time at nydc, where we went around taking photos like its our house. lol. and the waiter had to take our orders missionary style.

yes i know you guys want photos. sooon i promise! off to watch my dvds!

what went on in the merry month of may

ok! before i leave, here's an album, with new pictures inside! namely, the odac bbq we had a few weeks baccck. heh.

when it's good, every thought of you brings a smile to my face. but when it's bad, every thought just threatens to fill my eyes with tears.

bipolar disorder.. *shakes head.

i know this gonna be mean but.. screw off. i never wanna see you back. unless of course, if it's in a different way i might consider.. lol.

damnit. i'm such a meanie.

i fell asleep with a smile on my face last night, and woke up this morning with a smile on my face for the first time in a loong time. i wonder how long this will last?

diarrrhoeaaaaaa. dumbass i tell you, must be your food la.

but last night was really fun =) all the diarrhoeas in the world are worth it i tell you. i'm willing to go through it all over againnnn.



artistic pic




the previous previous post caused some kind of uproar didn't it. heh well, it was a burst of self-pitying moment which i will try to curb la. thanks for all the encouragements babes! dear barbarian, xuan, edwin (oops he's not a babe), andrea (though she sounds more violent than encouraging..)and kat! and i have a sneaky feeling that huiyu and jialing were referring to me, ain't ya? thank you thank you. :) am uber-touched.

我不难过 -- 孙燕姿

又站在你家的门口 我们重复沉默
这样子单方面的守候 还能多久

终于你开口向我诉说她有多温柔
虽然你还握着我的手 但我已不在你心中

我真的懂 你不是喜新厌旧
是我没有 陪在你身边当你寂寞时候
别再看着我 说着你爱过 别太伤痛
我不难过 这不算什么 只是为什么眼泪会留我也不懂

就让我走 让我开始享受自由
回忆很多 你的影子也会充满我生活
我并不懦弱 你比谁都懂 虽然寂寞 这会是我 最后的宽容

抱紧我 再抱紧我 这一份感动 请你让我留在胸口
别再说 是你的错 爱到了尽头 是非对错 就让他随风
忘了所有 过得比你快活

我真的懂 你不是喜新厌旧
是我没有 陪在你身边当你寂寞时候
别再看着我 说着你爱过 别太伤痛
我不难过 这不算什么 只是为什么眼泪会留我也不懂

不要再说 或许这是最好的结果
现在分手 总好过你不爱我一拖再拖
松开你的手 离开你左右 我向前走
这会是我 真正的解脱

arghhhhhh you you YOU YOU yOUUUuuuU.

YOU.

everytime you're around me, i cannot maintain my cool.
everytime i hear your voice over the phone, the only thing i can do is splutter incoherently not unlike that of an idiot.
everytime i see you, i just feel like grabbing you on your shoulders, give you a good hard shake, and shout this into your face: "YOU ARE MAKING A BLOODY BIIIIG MISTAKE! turn back before it's too late!"

ARGHHHHHH. i hate hate hate hate hate the way i am.

why can't i be prettier. slimmer. less irritating.



ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

argh, ARGH. please pardon me for my lack of vocab. arrrghhhhhh.

so anyway, today was my last day of work at RP and i'm gonna start work at the arts fest soon! predict that it's going to be a rather exciting and tiring period of time. hopefully, fun too.

oh yeah, my dad has did it again. click to find out more.


i thought being a receptionist at estee lauder companies last year was one of the best jobs i could find. you sit at the reception counter looking pretty, flipping through fashion magazines (they have one gigantic pile there), and listening to the radio. and getting paid.

but RP beats estee lauder hands down. most of the time, i did work for the first half of the day and spend the second half slacking away. though there's no music or magazine, there is the high technology of wireless internet connection. and, having a laptop all to myself was good. every morning i go to work, msn and web-surfing, here i come! and getting paid too.


well, what can i say, God loves me :)

seems like i always get attacked by the green eyed monster whenever i see happy couples around.

it has been close to 4months already. somehow this period of time just flew past, what with school, church and rubbishy stuff.

let's admit it. i'm not as strong as i appear to be. there are lapses that occur deep in the middle of the night when i'm alone and the world is sleeping except for me.

my last hope is fast approaching. till then, i can only dream.

i am a fat, useless, good-for-nothing bum. there isn't much point for me to even try explaining anything. i should just go die.

whoops everyone! have been working at republic polytechnic for the past 2 days, gonna be last day tomorrow. heh work was not too bad. i have a laptop all to myself and no one really bothers about me so i can basically do whatever i want as long as i complete the stuff i'm supposed to do. plus my boss wasn't in the office today! haha so was a particularly slack day.

okaaay i got something from msn thought i'll just share it with you guys.






While paging through your favorite celebrity magazine, do you suddenly and uncontrollably crave salty snacks? You're not alone. Just looking at the diminishing bodies of some of our favorite starlets sends us running for the Funyons. The gaunt look remains stubbornly popular in Hollywood, where carb avoidance could be an Olympic sport. But since when does "sexy" mean jutting clavicles, noggins better suited to bobbing on a dashboard and arms so twig-like birds could build nests out of them? We're not expecting the return of the Marilyn Monroe hourglass, but lollipop is not a shape to aspire to. Sadly, there are plenty of undernourished actresses who fit this category (though we're not about to kick Mary-Kate Olsen and Jennifer Aniston when they're down), but here's the skinny on five fat-free-framed stars who embody the trend and are close to slipping into dangerously thin territory. Consider this a public service to encourage healthy, between-meal snacking ...



Lindsay Lohan (seen in April 2005 and April 2004):

"People lose weight when they grow up," an exasperated Lindsay Lohan explained in the April issue of W in response to whispers about her rapid weight loss. "They lose their baby fat." If true, the sylph-like "Mean Girls" starlet sure has matured an awful lot in the last few months, because she's a mere shadow of her once-shapelier self. Just a year ago, Lohan glowed with health, showing off a fit, if overdeveloped, figure that many admired (and ogled). Now, all the light seems to have gone out of her face, and not just because she's eased up on her Mystic Tan sessions and dyed her trademark auburn locks blond. With her ever-scrawnier bod and world-weary expression, poor Linds appears far older than her 18 years, although at least her lips seem to be plumping up nicely.



Nicole Richie (seen in April 2005 and June 2004):

While transforming from trashy to classy, Nicole Richie shed all the excess pounds she says she put on in rehab -- and then some. The onetime BFF of Paris Hilton now tips the scales at a mere 97 pounds, a change seen most dramatically in her protruding collarbones and itty-bitty arms. "I know a lot of people think I did something drastic to lose it overnight, but it's taken two years for me to get rid of those 10 pounds," insists Nicole, who credits working out with ridding her of her curves. "I'm 5 feet 1 inch, so even losing 5 pounds on my frame looks like a lot." If by "a lot," she means "an unhealthy heap," then yes, she's lost a lot. Here's hoping the pocket-size "Simple Life" starlet enjoys plenty of frosting-covered wedding cake when she eventually ties the knot with fiancé Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein.



Renée Zellweger (seen in March 2005 and April 2004):

Renée Zellweger has a supposedly logical explanation for her super-scrawny physique. "I know that certain photographers actually slim me down further as they can sell the pictures for a huger rate," the Oscar winner said in April. "What can I do about that? Hardly complain." While we can't speak to Renée's photo-manipulation paranoia, there's no denying she's gone from svelte to skin-and-bones in recent months. Her seeming obsession with living calorie-free is almost understandable, given the intense scrutiny she was under as she gained and lost major poundage while making both "Bridget Jones" films. But when will Renée realize that she's most gorgeous when she's va-va-va-voomy, not cadaverous? And hey, if we have to suffer through another "Bridget" sequel to see the actress regain her healthier form, then bring on Mark Darcy and the smug "marrieds" pronto.



Kate Bosworth (seen in March 2005 and in 2002):

Hard to believe the frail woman at left is the same one sporting the powerful frame on the right. Kate Bosworth attracted many admirers when she packed on muscle to play a surfer in "Blue Crush," but her once-toned and defined bod could now be knocked over at low tide. Dubbed the "Incredible Shrinking Woman" by the New York Daily News, the atrophied actress and former squeeze of Orlando Bloom is currently channeling intrepid Daily Planet reporter Lois Lane in the big-budget "Superman Returns." Perhaps she'll delve deep into character and conduct an in-depth investigation of her eating habits, 'cause when your sternum sticks out as far as your cleavage, something ain't right.



Jessica Simpson (seen in May 2005 and September 2004):

Jessica Simpson hasn't yet reached the disconcerting bobble-head proportions of Lindsay and Nicole, and we strongly urge her to keep it that way. The blond bombshell whipped herself into shape thanks to four-times-a-week workouts with a personal trainer to slip into those Daisy Dukes for "The Dukes of Hazzard," but recent pictures have us worried that she's continuing to downsize her already ultra-slimline figure. With all those rumors flying around about the state of her union to Nick Lachey, Jess needs to keep her strength up. Our advice? Indulge in plenty of Chicken-of-the-Sea with the occasional buffalo wing chaser.




seems like their boobs shrank together with their bodies heh.

she wasn't a close friend, merely a classmate. even so, the news of her death traumatised me midly, especially when i heard of the way she went.

she was the chatty and loud girl in class, who liked to laugh and giggle at anything. i cannot say that i knew her well, but she was somebody whom i have always acknowledged that was there.

during prom in secondary school, she sashayed up to me, gave me a pout, and complained why didn't i take a photo with her? and so a photo with her i took, the only one that i have ever taken, and the last too.

before msn got popular, i remember this particular email address on my contact list which i couldn't recognise at all. dismissing it as some random irc friend who never talked to me, i deleted it off my list. but who knows, all these years, the person that i deleted off has never deleted me off. and a few weeks back, this person approached me in msn and asked me for the song i was listening to.

i stunned momentarily, as the email address that looked so familiar stared back at me in my face. remembering that i deleted it off a few years back, i asked for her name, and she complained that i have forgotten all about her. it was sheena. and so i added her back to my list.

and now she still remains in my contact list, but never will i see her online again.

i like to think this as a gentle reminder that God gave me before He took her away, that such a person has existed in my life before, and never will i forget her.

the past 3 months have all but been a dream. and dreams always have endings.

the ending doesn't look too good here. all this while, i thought i was so good at hiding my feelings deep down inside. but the capacity to do so has reached saturation point. everything's bursting out now. i can't hide them anymore.





Ryan Cabrera - True

I won't talk
I won't breathe
I won't move till you finally see
That you belong with me
You might think I don't look
But deep inside the corner of my mind
I'm attatched to you
mmmm
I'm weak, it's true
Cause I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cause my heart keeps falling faster

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

You don't know what you do
Everytime you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak, it's true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

I know when I go
I'll be on my way to you
The way that's true

I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing thats true
So I will not hide
It's time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true

okaaaaay finally got around to uploading some photos heh.

click here for pictures of my theatre studies practical group!


wanted to blog about meet-dorothy's-friends day. haha but, feeling just THIS little bit lazy.


all this while i have been the one in action. now i shall just take a step back and see what happens.

ok something screwed up my blogskin. will get it back soon hopefully.

odac bbq @ jj's house - pictures speak a thousand words

i'm finishing one whole packet of chips by myself. scary, isn't it?

and i had to waste time shitting just now.

the pimples just had fun multiplying themselves on my face.