the images in my mind are still so vivid. the words he said are still ringing in my ears. and my heart is still in pieces, bleeding.. just bleeding.

i thought i could get over it. i thought i would be fine. i thought i could still go about my life normally. apparently i thought wrong. i'm not as strong as i thought i was..

i never expected this to be so painful.

this is so unfair. the light at the end of the tunnel is actually the headlights of an oncoming train at full speed. WHAM. smashed to pieces. end of story.

the 21st of each month no longer holds any meaning anymore..


the emptiness in my heart is so so overwhelming.. especially at the moment when you wake up and it hits you that things are different already.

its a wonder how much tears i have. but i seem to have dried up.


i would much rather prefer to cry then to face this emptiness in my heart.. could someone take it away pls..

the sudden realization hit me so hard that i can't help but break into tears.


i need someone.


i need someone to teach me. i am desperate for help. cos i guess i just don't know anymore..


i'm all about loving you. but i am so lost.

ever seen what a taupok looks like?


ever wondered what a taupok looks like?


(these questions are not applicable to students of a premier jc in the Bishan-Ang Mo Kio area)













be baffled no more!!


here are some exciting, real life taupok experiences all captured in photos just for you!


tao pok one


tao pok two


tao pok three


tao pok four


tao pok five


*this entry is dedicated to Justin-whatever-his-name-is.

ATTENTION ALL YMERS (especially the guys)

take a look at THIS and tell me who was the one who started it.

yay thursday's officially no-school-day for me. so anyway, just recently uploaded the resurrection camp photos up. so here are some highlights..

day 1

game: the amazing race
starting point: esplanade
finishing point: tpmc


linghui, teresa, me and maylin. first game of the camp: the amazing race.


my group, acts. at istana park, one of the stations of the game.


day 2

ministry day: plan activities for the children who are coming over to our church from chen sulan children's home
activities planned: bubble-tea making, balloon twisting and dough-making


teresa and me at breakfast: stuffing the hot dog buns into our mouths hungrily.


shy and me. plus one successful batch of bubble tea pearls


teaching the children how to twist the balloons


the children having fun :)


me and my absolute favourite cutie kiddo, justin!!

day 3

main activity of the day: monster card game
at night: sumptuous buffet dinner, passion of the christ screening, and a walk in Jesus' footsteps


boys are mean, throw rocks at them!


my group once again during the monster game


me and my dearest mei at dinner *winks


in the dead of the night: jingyi, cindy, carrie, mel and me


i say, one's slping position displays one's innate character trait. get what i mean?? haha.

day 4

last day of the camp: dimsum breakfast and debriefing


me and just-woke-up-shuai-ge, kel


me and act-cute-tommie at breakfast


yep. was one hellavu fun at the camp. interested for more pictures? here they are.


be back soon.

sick.


tomorrow's the first day of school.





freaking irritating.

my first post of the new year!


in an effort to make a clean and fresh start for the year, i spent half the day clearing out stuff from my cupboard. (okay actually my mum nagged at me too much that i couldn't stand it if not i would be doing more constructive things like sleeping)

looking at the piles and tonnes of notes i have from jc, i started throwing away papers, papers and more papers. chemistry, maths, econs. all these seem to be worthless to me now. which brings me to my next point.

why did i put myself through the whole bloody education system of singapore just to end up doing something which is not even related to what i did in jc. WHY?? why am i in arts and social science? why am i not in bizad? or science fac? or even engin?? why am i doing something that.. that.. i didn't even think of doing when i was in jc.





i can't find any answers. the most plausible ones are i was too lazy during jc, end up my grades like shit. end up i cannot do whatever i want. end up i am complaining to myself and questioning why. why didn't i study harder in school. why did i go back to sr. why? WHY? stupid word. i wonder who invented it.


my brain juices have ran dry. must be all the dust from the cupboard clouding my brains.

anyway, some photos of my favourite people in the world. :)



post birthday celebration for jingzhi


shy being camera-shy (pun intended)


soaking up the xmas atmosphere in town


smelly santa's backside!


bbq on new year's day


nei hai ya kor dai fan xu! (cantonese: you are a big sweet potato)


for more photos, click here.


*to passerby: yep we're still happily together. it doesn't mean that if i don't mention him here means that we're not together anymore. isn't it the same as saying if you stop talking about your mother, she won't be your mother anymore? haha yep. thanks for your concern though. :)